Memoirs on death, loss, and grief can help us find comfort and strength during times of heartache.

By sharing their strength, sorrow, vulnerability and whit, the authors listed below equip us with the emotional tools to face our own struggles. If you’ve read any of these, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

1.  The Year of Magical Thinking, by Joan Didion. 2005.
In 2003, Joan Didion’s husband, fellow writer John Gregory Dunne, died suddenly at their dinner table, moments after the couple came home from visiting their recently coma-induced daughter at the hospital.   This unbelievably tragic series of events spurred Didion’s relatable, touching, intellectual memoir – The Year of Magical Thinking.  Her literary prowess takes the reader through widespread musings on grief, but instead of bogging us down in her sorrow, Didion has managed to create a life affirming account of loss that is destined to become a classic.

2.  A Widow’s Story, by Joyce Carol Oats. 2011.
How do we piece together the fragments of our own life when our main source of identity and routine is suddenly taken away?  Do we at some point become self-pitying if we find ourselves unable to move past our own sorrow?  Joyce Carol Oats struggled to answer these questions as she grappled for a sense of meaning while mourning the loss of her beloved husband, Raymond Smith.  Intimate details about her undying love, including Raymond’s voicemail message that she kept for over a year after his death, make this a heartbreaking, must read memoir.

3.  Blue Nights, by Joan Didion. 2011.
Blue Nights is considered a sequel to Didion’s previous masterpiece The Year of Magical Thinking.  As if the heartbreak from losing her husband in 2003 wasn’t enough, Didion’s daughter, Quintana Roo, died just two years later from an ongoing illness.  Blue Nights explores one person’s capacity for grief, and the unique sadness of a parent burring her child.  Didion also address her own mortality, and the difficulties of growing older.

4.  Death Be Not Proud, by John Gunther. 1949.
John Gunther’s loving tribute to his son, Johnny, is a must read for any person struggling with the loss of a child.  We follow Johnny’s story, from his initial brain tumor diagnosis to his death at the young age of 17.  John focuses on the strength and wisdom of his dying son, who continued to fight for his life right up until the time it was taken from him.

5.  Nothing to Be Frightened Of, by Julian Barnes. 2008.
Nothing to Be frightened Of offers a slight departure from many other books on this list.  Instead of reacting to a particular death, Barnes addresses death in general, particularly his own, and how his views on life, death, and God change as he grows older.  At 62, Barnes has seen his parents and friends die.  He knows that the sun is dying, he is dying, and the human species as a whole is slowly but inevitably changing.  In Nothing to Be Frightened Of, Barnes works to make sense of it all, and offers a candid, surprisingly humorous look at the ultimate common denominator.

6.  A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, by Dave Eggers. 2000.
At the young age of 22, Dave Eggers lost both his parents to cancer and consequently became the guardian of his eight-year-old brother.  In order to convey this incomprehensible tragedy to readers, Eggers uses a self-referential, sardonic, yet ultimately touching narrative approach that reflects a unique, generational perspective.

7.  A Grief Observed, by C. S. Lewis. 1961.
A Grief Observed is CS Lewis’ account of the debilitating grief he felt when his wife of three years died of cancer, and the struggle for a devout man to understand some of God’s decisions.  Although difficult to read (for content, not technique), this memoir offers a cathartic experience for anyone in the throws of loss.

8.  The Long Goodbye, by Meghan O’Rourke. 2011.
After the death of her 55-year-old mother, O’Rourke struggled to understand her overwhelming and complex feelings of grief.  She began to write down her thoughts – from the most nuanced observations to grandiose musings – which eventually resulted in this wonderful book, equally praised for it’s beautiful prose and emotional insight.

9.  Epilogue, by Anne Roiphe. 2008.
Much like A Widow’s Story, Anne Roiphe’s Epilogue details the painful bereavement of a recent widow, and the seemingly impossible task of regaining a sense of normalcy when one has experienced great loss.  Roiphe shares her innermost experiences, including thoughts of suicide and difficulty reinterring the dating world, in this heartfelt memoir.

10.  The Pure Lover: A Memoir of Grief, by David Plante. 2009.
The Pure Lover is Plante’s lovingly written memoir about his late partner of 40 years, Nikos Stangos.  It is a testament to the power of close relationships, and although we feel Plante’s pain, we also feel his joy at having loved.  At times he writes from the perspective of Stangos, suggesting a level of closeness only a lifetime together can create.

Nicholas Kania works in marketing for Cleveland, Ohio-based eFuneral, an online resource providing caregivers and those thinking about end-of-life with free, helpful information.